Braid Manor |
Toast To The Lasses |
| When xmas trees have left the
street and drouthy neighbours, neighbours meet it’s Burns supper at the manor for months it’s been in oor planner it’s my pleasant task before the bevies to propose a toast to oor dear lasses And tho this poem is for the lasses Ah might offend the assembled masses If ah didnae mention John and Anne Now pushin on for ninety wan You’re mair than welcome here tonight To eat and drink until daylight Noo it’s the turn o’ oor dames Beloved leaders of oor hames I'll start with Paddie if I can She’s known to like a little dram Always turned out like a model she’s not a lady who likes to dawdle Every year she books up Nonnas as soon as winter is upon us She really is for us an angel And tonight she's even brought a trifle! And now to Jean of the same flare who each hogmanay lays oot great fare which we consume with ready passion and thank the Reids for oor annual ration Wi their penthoose flat and hoose in Lanton For nice abodes they’re nae wantin We’re just glad they’re back in Scotia It makes oor Manor so much posher! Isobel starts oor Xmas season her famous party is the reason wi wine and John Barleycorn aplenty we have mair units than we’re meant tae! Then hame we stagger wi oor pepper relish And pray oor hangover’s nae tae hellish I suppose for an ongoing peaceful life I'd better deal wi’ my own dear wife She loses something every day Ah just hope it’s never me For a lassie who loves the crisps the wonder is she’s sic a wisp A lass o many tongues and clearly very healthy lungs She’s as bonnie a lass as I've ever known without ma Jen I'd be sare alone. Now oor painter Maggie o number eight Who isnae here to share oor plate She’s gallivantin in the sun And nae doot havin lots o fun We'll maybe keep a little bite And she can see it all on our ane website. Miss Morham we’ve heard from already And realised she’s quite a lady She always claims she’s over ninety But I didnae think that’s very likely She drives and golfs and sings and parties And always looks so hale and hearty We might all hae the same lifeline If we copied Anne and drank mair wine. Now Helen is oor ane cakemaker who also acts as oor caretaker The Otis man thought he was clever Gettin’ us to pay on the never never But oor Helen wi’ great disdain Sent him hame tae think again! Doctor Sadie and hubbie John Gang up The Hill each day at dawn And if the forecast is for rain John's up the stairs and doon again And Sadie’s there with her stopwatch To check his target he disnae ditch This couple are in my opinion Braid Manor’s greatest lovin union Professor Jill's a clever lass Always top in her class So clever that now she's off to educate some English toffs But just remember where ur hame is and if you want you can bring back Seamus! Margaret o’ number 3 She’s non resident for tax they say While we sit boozin at the nappy She's aff on a cruise and very happy! And when tonight we got the food in oor margaret brought alang some puddin It was the world’s best meringue Am a right or am a wrang? Marna is another teacher Of this manor it is a feature A wonderful lady I’m sure you’ll agree Who happens to be speaking just efter me! About this dear lass ah must be brief And nae mention any mischief I’ve been in trouble wi’ teachers before And am nae wantin any more! And sae tonight we recognise Oor dames’ advice so oft despised We thank ye for yer understandin Of aw the messes we often land in An humbly crave ur kind acceptance O this wee rhyme from ur unworthy servants So let ur menfolk charge their glasses and drink the health o oor dear lasses! |
Paddie's PS! |
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